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Joke of the Day
"What rabbit wears on his back while flying? Eagle"
Next Joke
"I told her I had lightning quick reflexes... Sounds better than premature ejaculator..."
"How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Poker face."
"Heard a friend bragging about his one night stand Whatever mate, i've got two night stands. One either side of my bed."
"All firemen must dread the moment when they're done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole."
"Why weren't there any famous gun slingers in the Canadian West? Because they all wore mittens."
"DAD: I invented a diaper that's also a time machine! MOM: Where do the poops go DAD: dunno! [CUT TO: A BUNKER IN GERMANY, 1942] HITLER: omfg"
"Can we all agree to just stop what we're doing for 5 minutes and get a worldwide airplane safety speech and then we can skip them forever?"
"You want to know a neat trick to get yourself to stop being annoyed by a baby crying? Close the lid to the dumpster."
"I always heard it was OK to date a nun... as long as you don't get into the habit."