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Joke of the Day

"Coining a new term. I hereby decree that from henceforth all comparisons made between two things for comedy shall be known as... ***a yuxtoposition.***"

"If you hear that someone prefers natural light. You can assume they are not discussing beer."

"Q: What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime? A: Paddy O'Furniture!"

"What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital? An Oncologist"

"Because he always knew what the punchline would be. Why didn't the psychic laugh at any jokes?"

"[rolls a boiled egg down the bar to a hot girl] me - ""that was an accident can I have my egg back please"""

"H: Gross! Stop peeing in the shower! Me: Why? Everybody pees in the shower. H: Yeah but you're not in it right now, I am."

"Girls just wanna have Funds"

"Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a whorehouse for a hug."

"What are the hottest days during summer? Sun-days"