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Joke of the Day

"Because he always knew what the punchline would be. Why didn't the psychic laugh at any jokes?"

"Legally, you are not required to tell your boss WHY you saved all those Burt Reynolds pictures to the desktop."

"Man next to to me just said into his phone ""You caught me in the middle of a sandwich."" He's lying. He is not in a sandwich."

"At geography class Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him: - Where's England, Jon? He proudly answers: - Page 83."

"I went to a gay bar specifically for dyslexic people... ...this really hot guy projectile vomited at me, so I ducked his sick."

"I think it would be great if ice cream licked you back."

"An African athlete has been banned from the Commonwealth Games after testing positive to a performance enhancing substance.' ....Food."

"Cow joke What's wrong with Bessie? She looks like she's in constant pain! She has mooootiple sclerosis"

"Q: What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight? A: Don't look I'm changing!!"

"Why would it suck to be an egg? Because you only get laid once, only get smashed once, and the only chick that sits on your face is your mother"