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Joke of the Day

"Retweeting a compliment is like getting a compliment from someone and then conference calling a bunch of people and telling them about it."

"I hear that in Star Wars VIII they're going to introduce Han's perpetually depressed younger brother. His name is Y Solo."

"Diarrhea is heredity in my family It runs in our genes"

"How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four: One to drop it, Three to pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up."

"Have you ever seen Gregor Clegane fight? It'll blow your mind. . . . . I'm sorry."

"vegan zombie what does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS"

"How can you tell if a girl is a lesbian? Look really closely at her tongue.... If it's in another girls vagina, she's a lesbian"

"Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on the broom!...haha"

"Fishing for Jupiter fart fish off the wing of the space shuttle."

"What goes 30 miles per hour and smells like curry? Usain Balti"