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Joke of the Day

"Grandpa Always told me... Find a woman who is smart. Find a woman who is great in bed. Find a woman who loves you for who you are. And make sure none of these women ever meet."

"I got really bad sunburn after falling asleep on my stomach at the beach... I wanted emergency medical attention but 911 never returned my call. I guess they put it on the back burner."

"Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium? He tripped a fan"

"*at casino* When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both. It will leave him speechless."

"I submitted 10 puns to a local newspaper, hoping one would make it in. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"I wish I could smack the stupid out of people and if you think this status is about you smack yourself for me!"

"Did you hear about the American Indian who was in a tea drinking contest? They found him the next morning lying in his tea pee."

"What lies at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck."

"I hate it when TV shows say they contain ""adult situations"" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills."

"Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off."