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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could smack the stupid out of people and if you think this status is about you smack yourself for me!"

"Where do you send Jewish kids with Attention Deficit Disorder? Concentration camp."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean"

"What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common? Their biggest hit was the wall"

"Stephen Hawking walks into a bar"

"When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic."

"DOG: [running in circles trying to catch his own tail] SON OF A DOG'S PREGNANT WIFE: *looks up from knitting* Son of a what, David? Say it"

"Do you know why they put cotton balls in the top of prescription bottles? To remind black people that they picked cotton before they sold drugs."

"""Two roads diverged in a wood, and I? I took a nap until I finally heard a car coming."""

"Why are they called One Direction? Looks to me like they go both ways."