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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could smack the stupid out of people and if you think this status is about you smack yourself for me!"

"My wife went to see a spiritualist last week. I asked her ""how did you rate her?"" She said ""medium."""

"When did you find out Santa wasn't real? For me it was when I noticed he had the same birthmark on his cock as my uncle."

"My girlfriend and I used to like to pretend she was Khaleesi and I was Drogo Until she called me ""Crack of her Moon"""

"Pizza places, we don't want cheesy bread. Pizza is cheesy bread."

"What do you call a musician's best friend? A drummer..."

"How do you confuse a gay? 7"

"How do gossipy hamburgers spend their time? They chew the fat."

"My skateboarding career and Jon Snow have a lot in common. They both ended with an Ollie."

"NO. Absolutely not. I do not want to see your stupid cat video I've seen a billion cat vid-yeah ok let me see"