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Joke of the Day
"My friend thanked me for inviting him along to Fight Club. I replied ""Don't mention it."""
Next Joke
"Mickey is getting a divorce ""mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was...... extremely silly?"" ""no, i said she was fucking goofy"""
"When I asked my girlfriend why she was breaking up with me, she said ""Because you're a pedophile!"". I replied ""That's an awfully big word for a twelve year old."""
"What's the coolest answer to a multi-choice question? B)"
"One month of nofap here i pun! *Cum"
"Hey man, settle an argument for me? ""Sure"" [handing him a sword] Great, he's just in there"
"What do you call the parents of a cat? His PURR-ents"
"Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying ""sorry for the damage."" Film reactions. Profit."
"I've been to Iraq twice and Afghanistan once. Still not as scary as my ex's number popping up on my phone this morning."
"5 kinds of fear: - panic - terror - 15 missed calls from mom - ""wrong password"" - ""we need to talk"""