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Joke of the Day

"One month of nofap here i pun! *Cum"

"I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with marijuana today. To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times."

"I tried running once. But I kept spilling my beer."

"How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, ""Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?"" ""A lemon tree, my dear Watson."""

"What do you call a peeping Tom cat? A Purrr-vert."

"got 1 of those water bottles w/ the plastic prison inside 4 putting fruit in. i'm gonna put donut in it. donut water.for health n prosperity"

"Did you hear about the man with five penises? His pants fit like a glove."

"I'm intelligent but not ""make good life choices"" intelligent."

"Honey I'm home from Costco. ""You didn't buy anything stupid this time?"" [looks outside at kayak strapped to roof rack] Define stupid?"

"Then there were 3 sets of footprints & God said ""This is Deb. She answered my Craigslist ad & U r the one who said we should try new things"""