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Joke of the Day

"""It's over there by the Walgreens"" - directions to anywhere"

"There was an explosion at a French cheese factory De brie everywhere."

"Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits' feet."

"I have two boyfriends! Well, I'm dating two men Okay. Ben and I are just friends Same with Jerry Fine. I have ice cream. But it's love."

"Drug dealer I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today. I'm not sure what they're laced with...but I've been tripping all day!"

"Don't talk to me about your drinking problems until you've tried to make your cat wear your contact lenses because he looked a bit squinty."

"Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one? Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted."

"I was actually president of the anti-voting club in high school ... I never got re-elected"

"Made alphabet soup for a friend The next day he came to me holding his stomach. I asked him what was wrong. He said that the soup gave him a ""vowel"" movement!"

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am...Can you believe that, 2:30am!? Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes"