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Joke of the Day

"What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel."

"A couple orders a pie at a luxury restaurant The husband eats 4/7 of the pie and the wife the rest. He paid 4.5$ more than her. How much did the pie cost? Answer in comments"

"A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. ""Well Skip"" said the scout ""Mum had only one dose of castor oil left so I let my baby brother have it."""

"Oh that's neat so you're a Cancer? Wait...astrologically or to society?"

"I haven't eaten since last year, so why haven't I slimmed down?"

"Four years ago, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me! She said ""no"" both times."

"My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct"

"the Bible says ""If a man is to lay with another man he should be stoned."" in my experience it helps"

"What do you call a limbless swimmer? Bob."

"What is the difference between Kanye West and God? God doesn't think that He's Kanye."