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Joke of the Day

"45 min phone call w/8yo nephew: Aunt Cassy, there are 206 bones in the human body!Want me to name them?1.Cranium 2.Mandible 3.Scapula..."

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"A pig's favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York."
"Helmholtz Resonators made out of Lampshades, Company name is Silence of the Lamps"
"My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?!"
"What does the closed sign at a brothel say? Beat it, we're closed."
"What's the worst thing about a blackout? A shootout."
"Saying ""excape ""makes me wanna stab you in the ""exophagus""."
"Thought i was out of toilet paper today Turns out i had a shitload"
"What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan"
"Boxed wine: Because corkscrews are dangerous after the second bottle."