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Joke of the Day
"I got fired from the orange juice factory. I couldn't concentrate."
Next Joke
"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher handsomer and smarter than some really really big guy named Chuck."
"Never have sex at an Olive Garden. Because when you're there, you're family."
"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but they'd have to be really small."
"The difference between a cucumber and pickles... Is jarring"
"What would romantic living dead movie be called? Zombaes"
"Everyone in the world but you is a robot and the experiment is going really poorly."
"Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids."
"A chickpea goes to a liberal arts college... What's its major? Falafelphy"
"I bet hipsters love Mondays just to be ironic, but mostly because they're unemployed."