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Joke of the Day

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's head as it hits the windshield? It's butt!"

"How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with."

"I installed skylights in my home, ...the people that lived above me were furious."

"What should you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off."

"Why haven't they installed a mirror on cars that only covers your blind spot?"

"Me: Siri set an alarm for 6am tomorrow morning. I want to go to the gym before work. Siri: Lol"

"I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair."

"(NSFW) A pedophile and a little boy walk into the woods.. The boy says ""it's really dark out here, I'm scared."" The pedophile looks at him and says ""you're scared?! I have to walk back alone!"""

"Perfect on the spot SFW joke What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything."

"why don't vampires go to frat parties? they're afraid of natural light"