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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between god and pilots? God doesn't think he's a pilot."

"A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally."

"Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own."

"If you are here - who is running hell?"

"I tried snorting coke once... but the bubbles kept burning my nose."

"Facebook is the biggest whistle-blower of them all, telling people I saw their messages."

"I think I'm finally becoming more mature. Now when I watch Spongebob I usually agree with Squidward."

"Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!"

"What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone? It was counter-inuitive."

"Only a woman can make you a millionaire if you are a billionaire."