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Joke of the Day

"One out of every ten people lives next to a pedophile... ...not me, I live next to two beautiful 8 year olds."

"Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. "

"The definition of Baroque: A time when there is no Monet."

"""I thought that too, but I didn't say it out loud, because I'm not a racist."" - a racist"

"It's amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate."

"Who is the hamburgers' favourite actress? Candice Berger!"

"I got a $100 bill tattood on my penis, if the wife wants to blow $100 she doesn't even need to leave the house."

"Facebook should have a relationship status called: Fu*k I don't know....Ask her"

"I had a racist incident in my kitchen today.... The black bean soup started dissing the white cream sauce, I finally told them both to simmer down."

"I would like to apologize to all my American Friends for the Power Blackout in India. Electricity is now restored and your Customer Service & Tech Support is now up & running."