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Joke of the Day

"I got a $100 bill tattood on my penis, if the wife wants to blow $100 she doesn't even need to leave the house."

"Important Work Of 21st Century... The 21st century: Where Deleting history is more important than making it."

"I can't wait till they invent the non automatic paper towel dispenser."

"It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye; unless you're Stevie Wonder, then it's just ironic."

"What's the difference between dark matter and Black Lives Matter? Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system"

"When accused by a woman a man's first instinct is to deny. We're not lying, we're just buying time to remember what you're talking about..."

"Why didn't the Indian like having two t.p.'s? They made him 2 tence."

"What do you call a burning white guy? A firecracker"

"This cab driver is THE WORST. I keep telling him ""You passed my house, let me out"" & he's all like ""Sir I'm a cop and your under arrest for public nudity and intoxication."""

"One of my favorite hockey jokes Son: Dad, what's the playoffs? Father: I don't know son, were maple leaf fans."