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Joke of the Day

"No Carl, I said ""lick her"" not wicker. Put the patio furniture away."

"I would tell you a wifi joke ...but i left it InSSIDer.."

"NEVER date someone that works for your cell phone provider. You're welcome."

"You can't make me believe there's a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers."

"Whom does Ban Ki-Moon revolve around? Ban Ki-Earth."

"My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital? Because he wasn't peeling very well."

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but i've been tripping all day!"

"My husbands signature move is running to town ""real quick"" and coming home 5 hours later."

"What do you call two crows sitting in a tree? Attempted murder."

"I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes!"