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Joke of the Day

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but i've been tripping all day!"

"What kind of bee can make milk? Boobies"

"No wonder 1% is so bad I got my raise, not even 1%, my bank don't even give close to 1%. But my taxes ---- **30%**."

"Water evaporates, condenses, precipitates, and evaporates again. It's a viscous cycle."

"What do clothes and religion have in common? Someone invented them and forced them on everyone."

"Guy says, ""damn, there should be a law against having sex this good!"" The girl said nothing, for the drugs had left her unconscious."

"What do you call a person who wears adult diapers? Ehh, it depends."

"Why did the tomato blush when it saw the salad dressing? It was embarrassed."

"Tell the Starbucks barista that your name is Voldemort. Watch for those who don't flinch when the name is called. They will be your allies."

"Why can't a T-Rex clap it's hands? Because it's dead"