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Joke of the Day

"I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said, ""Tourettes! Now fuck off!"""

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? A paraplegic in a house fire."

"[ice cream parlor] WIFE: I'll have two scoops of vanilla ME: me too, u could say I want an WIFE AND CLERK: please don't ME: ice cream clone"

"If i were a hand model, at least i could say that i've banged a model."

"Daaaaamn girl! You're like a fire alarm! Really loud and annoying!"

"I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating And I was like OMG"

"Guy walks into a doctors office.. Guy walks into a doctor's office, wearing nothing but saran wrap. The doctor looked at him and said ""Clearly, I can see your nuts."" (Buddum-bum)"

"Don't you just hate those guys who show up at your door and tell you that you need to be saved or you'll burn? Fucking firemen."

"I crossed the road, walked into a bar and changed a light bulb Then I realized my life is a joke..."

"I don't like blind jokes... I just don't see the humor in them"