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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes, by holding on too tight, you end up losing what you were trying so hard to save. Soap, for example."

Next Joke
 
"Me: So, hypothetically speaking, if we were dating would I get any free food? Her: Uh, excuse me? Me: *sigh* #1 combo with cheese, please."
"Two satellites get married The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!"
"Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat."
"Words cannot describe how cute you are... but numbers can tho, you're a 3/10"
"Bioluminescent fry said to have a bright future"
"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He saw the gas bill... ^please ^don't ^kill ^me"
"Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle? They like horsin' around."
"[at dinner party] Me: Excuse me, a bit of an announcement.. Jenny and I are expecting a kid. She is 4 months pregnant. Vegan: I'm vegan"
"I broke up with my girlfriend when I found out she only has 4 toes on each foot.... Turns out I'm lack-toes intolerant.."