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Joke of the Day

"A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Nothing's labeled clearly, I was promised tea & never got any, the criminal justice system is barbaric. ~ Alice's Yelp review of Wonderland"

"What is a Jamaicans favorite country to visit? Yeahman"

"Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas? Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around."

"What do you get when you cash in your memes for karma? A dank statement."

"My dog plays this fun game where she holds her bladder until she gets inside the house"

"Did you hear about the crew members of the USS Enterprise that needed help climbing into their bunks? They were hoisted by their own Picard."

"Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket."

"Shot my dog 's'mornin' Farmer: ""Shot my dog 's'mornin' Friend: ""Were he mad?"" Farmer: ""Twernt too pleased."""

"Pet Shopping Paddy says ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""fuck that"" says Mick ""have you seen how many of their owners go blind"""