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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you go fishing with Skrillex? Because he always drops the bass."
Next Joke
"What I hate about pasta is how they change the shape and act like it's a different food. I'm out to expose the fraud."
"What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger."
"North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage."
"A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing... 'He's like a fish out of water.' 'You mean he's having trouble adjusting?' 'No, I mean he's dead.' -Mike Close-"
"What do you call the queue to Alcatraz? Alkaline"
"What mistake have you made when your wife comes in from the kitchen to yell at you? Made her chain too long."
"What do cows like to line dance to ? Any kind of moosic you like !"
"[During surgery] DR DOG: Suction please. NURSE: But there's no bleeding. DR DOG: I know *drooling* but just look at that liver!"
"What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable? Getting the wheelchair in the pot."