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Joke of the Day
"Whenever the Starbucks guy asks for my name I laugh and whisper ""I'm seeing someone"""
Next Joke
"Next time you see someone crying Ask them if it's because of their haircut"
"Me and my bed are in a committed relationship, I think my alarm clock is just jealous of our love."
"Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?"
"They say never go food shopping when you're hungry ... haven't ""they"" heard that ""seven days without food makes one weak?"""
"Wars would be obsolete if women ruled the world There would just be a bunch of jealous countries who do not talk to eachother."
"What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night? Morgue Attendant"
"Why do Mexican and Muslim jokes all sound the same? Cause if you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal. Ba da Tissssssss"
"I've got the eye of the tiger, heart of a lion, and... a lifetime ban from the zoo."
"Love how they call info pamphlets ""literature."" Like the opening line is gunna be, ""It was the best of HPV, it was the worst of HPV."""