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Joke of the Day
"Today I saw nice ass, huge cocks, hot chicks and wet pussy. It was a nice day at the farm."
Next Joke
"NO. Absolutely not. I do not want to see your stupid cat video I've seen a billion cat vid-yeah ok let me see"
"To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow."
"People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs."
"Her: Let's read your horoscope... Do you believe in astrology? Me: No. That's such a scam. Well, at least that's what my psychic says."
"""You are what you eat."" I'm about 90% burrito."
"Best Porn movie title ever Q:What do you call a Czechoslovakian gay porn movie? A:Czech is in the male. yeah..... As a bonus: This is actually a real movie. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1091755/"
"Two dogs on a coffee break *Dogs on coffee break* Dog 1: Heard a great joke. Dog 2: Oh yeah? Dog 1: Knock kn- *Dog 2 goes fuckin' nuts*"
"My girlfriend isn't a fan of Starwars, says I would have to force her to go. ""*ss****SSkkkk****rrowwmm****mzzrreowwwowwww***."""
"Should I buy a pizza? Heads I do, tales I ignore the coin."