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Joke of the Day

"LPT: If you want to pick up wet girls go around driving while its raining and offer if they need a ride"

"making holy water is easy.... you boil the hell out of it but how to you turn that holy water back into regular tap water? You cook the bejesus out of it. *bejesus may be a local slang but i hope not."

"What car does Hitler drive? [OC] A fuhrerri."

"[Jewish Joke] What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? They break their nose. (note - I'm Jewish so this is OK)"

"If a tree falls in the woods It won't make a sound because it has been copyright claimed by Warner Music Group."

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day... Give him a religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."

"The banana apologized to the apple. You're very sweet, but I'm sorry I don't find you a**peel**ing [I know this was terrible. I guess this wasn't your taste.](#s)"

"I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing Christmas stockings"

"What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon? Tennish."

"Let's walk barefoot on grass! -People who have never walked a dog"