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Joke of the Day

"In California... Did you know that in California you cannot take a picture of a woman with a basket of strawberries? ...you need a camera because strawberries do not take pictures."

"What kind of bird opens doors ? A kiwi !"

"When geese fly in a ""V"" formation, do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side."

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom? European"

"When did the criminal get smart? When the judge threw the book at him."

"""What do we want?"" ""A cure for ADHD!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Squirrel!"""

"""Give me 'bored.' Give me 'late for lunch.' Scowl at a tree. Scowl at a tree. Look at a bird like you hate it."" - book jacket photographers."

"My Grandma's church was odd in that they worshipped paintings. Very weird. Every week they would stand up and sing ""How Great Thou Art"""

"I met a beautiful girl when I went on vacation a few years ago... We got along great and she even showed me her boobs. I don't know why I brought it up, it's a distant mammary."

"What gets wetter the more you dry it? A woman with a towel fetish"