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Joke of the Day

"""Give me 'bored.' Give me 'late for lunch.' Scowl at a tree. Scowl at a tree. Look at a bird like you hate it."" - book jacket photographers."

"What did the elephant say when he was pulled out of the quicksand by the balls? Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Ball!"

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? nothing."

"Just texted her ""thanks for choking on me"" I meant ""checking"" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be."

"Can a hamburger marry a hot dog? Only if they have a very frank relationship!"

"Best day to propose a girl Hey U Know Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1 U Know Why?? If she accept its your luck otherwise just tell April Foooooll."

"Overheard two doctors in the emergency ward They were discussing a patient who had arrived with six plastic horses stuck in his rectum. Described his condition as stable."

"A satanist asked why I would 420 blaze it, When i could 180 and praise it."

"It's so annoying when people make fun of what other people are wearing. Like yeah, this dress is a little tight, my legs are a little hairy, and my dick is hanging out but still!"

"How many BLM protestors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one to hold the bulb while the world revolves around them."