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Joke of the Day

"People who text back instantly. Keep it up, I like that sh1t."

"Hell is filled with news anchors tapping stacks of papers on desks and engaging in lighthearted end-of-broadcast banter."

"A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3. He says ""uno, dos..."" and POOF! He disappeared without a tres."

"What's a 90's kid's favorite salad? Quinoa & Kale"

"Some family is never more than just blood."

"Jesus isn't one to get angry very often.. But I remember seeing him once looking very cross"

"Why was Hitler better than Jesus (offensive)? Belated Hitler birthday joke! Jesus may have fed 5,000 people with a few loaves of bread and fish, but Hitler made 6 million Jews toast."

"[creation] GOD: So how do you like the flying? PENGUIN: Meh it's no big deal GOD: Oh is that right"

"I think I will start calling my wife ""My Customer"" since she is always right..."

"Why do Vampires hate Writers? Because they hate Type O's"