15651

Joke of the Day

"Heading to a pumpkin patch with a cheeseburger. When pumpkins see me eating meat, they let their guard down. They never see it coming."

"A riddle: it's yellow and if you push the button it turns red... A chick in a blender."

"No point I'll go straight to the point, this all sentence is pointless"

"A friend and I got into a fight on a ski lift. It was an uphill battle."

"I tried explaining to someone why smoking weed is bad for you. To be blunt, I don't think they were paying much attention."

"A family books a room in a hotel... ... The father goes and says to the receptionist and says I hope the pornography is disabled here and the receptionist goes its normal pornography you sick bastard."

"At the rate I'm throwing shit out as I pack to move there's a strong possibility not all the kids will make it to the new house"

"[Ice Cream Truck] John Cena: I'll take an Icee, please. Ice Cream Truck Driver: Icee? You? Cena: *grabs driver's shirt* No, you can't."

"How to make pasta: -Boil water. -Put what you think couldn't possibly be too much pasta in the pot. -Wrong. -Start an Italian restaurant."

"""You run like you're making fun of running."" -my brother"