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Joke of the Day
"If 50 is the new 30, then Dead is the new 80."
Next Joke
 
"He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!"
"What did pinnochio's girlfriend say when they were 69'ing? Lie to me"
"""You look really pretty today,"" I said as I looked in the mirror, and my reflection replied, ""And you...um, you have a GREAT personality."""
"A three legged dog walked into a saloon. Said..""I'm looking for the man that shot my Pa."""
"You know that schizophrenic hobo that has nonsensical conversations with himself? That's Twitter in real life."
"What did one dehydrated French man say to the other? What are we going to do now, Pierre?"
"If you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating... Because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything."
"Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her"
"Did you hear about the german who accidently put his hand in boiling oil? he Gottfried.."