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Joke of the Day

"I told the doctor I want to take my amputated leg home and he asked why ""Because it's my right"""

"Never let your friends feel lonely! disturb them at all times!"

"My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job"

"Quick question: can I breastfeed if I've had implants?"

"What is the difference between Faith and Hope? Depends on the strip club."

"Why did the feminist get fired from Panera? Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich."

"A friend wanted ""cold hard cash"" for his birthday So I gave him a $20 bill inside of a chunk of ice."

"What did the guy say after he finished jacking off? Well that got a load off my mind."

"I might invent a new beer, call it ""Occasionally"". When people ask if I drink, I can say I drink Occasionally' this way they won't think i'm an alcoholic."

"If I had a dollar for every gender I'd have $1.79."