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Joke of the Day

"Funny school joke Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"What does Mr. T say when he sees a fat lady at a bar? I pity the stool!"

"What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive? Terminal illness."

"Vince Vaughn supports the right to carry guns in public. So if you ever wander into 1 of his movies, you can just shoot yourself."

"yeah well i hope you go to put your hair in a ponytail but the hair tie is too loose to hold it & not big enough to tie it another time"

"Millions are killed each year because they go potty without checking behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop."

"If God is always watching... ...then one day, while masturbating, I'm gonna look that motherfucker straight in the eye and finish like a boss."

"ELI5: What does ELI5 mean?"

"What did one ox say to another ox? A yoke."

"The soldier survived pepper spray and mustard gas He is now a seasoned veteran."