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Joke of the Day
"How very is a very good dinosaur? Very. (Thought of this idk if it was good)"
Next Joke
"Would you like a bag with that? Would you like a bag with that? Would you like a bag with that? I know now it isn't really the most efficient way to sell tea!"
"Hubby is trying to get it up...There we go...Ok now it won't go down-oh there it goes...Shit, now it's going back up! Garage door is broken"
"My daughter has an ice skating date with her boyfriend tonight. So I'll be the guy skating behind two 12 year olds carrying a shotgun."
"How many men does it take to open a beer? None it should be open when she brings it to you"
"My father works as a statistician at Ford. He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his auto graph."
"What do you do when a horse breaks down? Call triple neighhh!"
"Wife: You're shirtless? *nods* W: And covered in...oil? -Well, you know how you always say I never glisten? W: Listen. You never listen. -Oh"
"What comes after a farting competition? Farty!"
"I repeatedly slapped my girlfriend as hard as I could at the concert last night. I was clapping for the band."