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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I watched the Star Wars movies back to back last night; I'm so glad I was the one facing the TV. (Huehuehue ... but seriously, she would just be on her damn phone haha)"

"In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today... ...the one's with 18 holes. (Too soon?)"

"My favorite salad is a bunch of different kinds of Doritos mixed together"

"Did you hear about the stationary store? It moved."

"How do you kill a bear without a weapon? With your bare hands."

"The Indian food market My buddy asked me if I wanted to get lunch with him at the new Indian food market and I said namaste (nah... ima stay)"

"When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say ""Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."""

"I just melted an ice cube by staring at it. Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though."

"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke!"

"1) Print out all your favstar trophies and fold them so they are 2D 2) Put them on your mantle 3) Invite dad over 4) Become favorite son"