23262

Joke of the Day

"Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK I'll come back in a year's time!"

"How do you make a Venetian blind? Stick a finger in his eye."

"Trump There's no punchline, as the title was the full joke"

"I bought a Chris Brown's greatest hits album. It was just a bunch of Rihanna songs."

"I'm not above apologizing for my drunken behavior I'm just sick of repeating myself"

"She told me I was a talented lover I told her I studied a broad."

"It's pretty silly to be afraid of spiders when most of them have probably never answered a text message with a phone call."

"What fish is best to have in a boat? A Sailfish."

"The closest I get to exercising is when I trip on the sidewalk and pretend jog for like 10 feet."

"Imagine William Shakespeare in a swimming pool, perplexed and terrified as children just splash the shit out of him"