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Joke of the Day

"Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK I'll come back in a year's time!"

Next Joke
 
"Me: ""Hey towel, you're looking good. What u doing later?"" Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot."
"So my penis used to be in the Guinness book of world records I'm not allowed in Barnes and Noble anymore"
"Did you heard Steve Jobs died? He went to the iCloud. (RIP Steve. You may disagree with him, but the fact the man died is tragic considering his contributions to computing.)"
"Somebody stole my mood ring... ...I don't know how I feel about that."
"Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence."
"Bollywood movies are so long... I started watching one in 2014 and it's just finished in 2015."
"You are what you eat. *eats Ryan Gosling* *crosses fingers*"
"I don't know why people use odorless deodorant It makes no scents!"
"If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help."