98430

Joke of the Day

"Just think, there is coming an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: ""Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"""

"My son just handed me a duck & a pig from his puzzle & smiled as if that made us ""even"" for all the food/clothing I've given him."

"My boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together. I totally nailed it."

"You're like that person playing Pictionary who draws something terribly and just keeps circling it."

"Someone screwed with my autocorrect, and when I catch them... Alpha cum up"

"My dance moves are best described as a woman trying to put on pants 4 sizes too small, with a wasp flying around her head."

"Saw an ad that said ""Radio for sell, volume stuck on full. 1$"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down""."

"My Ideal Woman is a Single Mother ...once I've finished with her."

"I'll never understand the appeal of TV shows about food. To me that's like listening to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show on the radio."

"WHY DO COWS LIE DOWN IN THE RAIN? TO KEEP EACH UDDER DRY."