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Joke of the Day

"A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in the ninth grade; which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she is the only one that's 18."

"What do you get when you cross a lima bean with a Soviet? A Lenintil..."

"When I was young, I slipped on some spilled beans and broke my spine, paralysing myself... Oh what I'd have done with Heinzsight."

"WHAT KIND OF BAND PLAYS SNAPPY MUSIC? A RUBBER BAND."

"Why was the pig in the kitchen? It was bacon."

"TRUMP: Hillary won't stand up to America's enemies. I will. *Gets into fights with Miss Universe, Gold Star family, and a baby*"

"Why are toilet tasks called ONE and TWO? Because TWO rhymes with POO"

"I called a guy with dwarfism a 'midget' He was a little offended"

"Why did Mozart kill his chickens? Because they were always saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"""

"If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs."