98057

Joke of the Day

"TRUMP: Hillary won't stand up to America's enemies. I will. *Gets into fights with Miss Universe, Gold Star family, and a baby*"

"Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past? It had a SPOILER on it."

"What was Nero's favorite kind of sandwich? A Plebeian J"

"So what exactly can I learn on the Internet? Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk like an Indian. How? See? It's working already."

"Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side but we don't sell them!"

"Shot my first turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen foods section."

"What's Brown & Rhymes With Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"[Sees restaurant is packed] *Pays hostess $20 to read note* ""Attn patrons there is a vintage yard sale across the street"" *Hipsters clear*"

"It's not so much that I'm a KE$HA hater, its more of the fact that I'm a music lover."

"How do you tell a Communist joke? Repeatedly."