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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a lima bean with a Soviet? A Lenintil..."

"Auto-erotic asphyxiation You can go on about it until you're blue in the face, I'm still not interested."

"Why were Indians the first people in America? Because they had reservations."

"Have you ever said something and immediately thought ""I didn't know I knew that."""

"I haven't lost my virginity yet Because I never lose"

"My wife is a lot like a facebook post... Lots of people like her, she gets lots of comments, she has been shared by thousands of people, and she may be viral."

"What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire? Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one"

"Why are my pubes curly? Because if they were straight, they'd be poking you in the eyes."

"Why can't Jesus play Football? He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal"

"One day I hope to be rich enough where I don't feel compelled to refill my fountain soda before I leave a fast food establishment."