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Joke of the Day
"What is Harry Potter's philosophy on relationships... Hit it and quidditch."
Next Joke
"My redneck cousin is looking for a girl into multiple partners. I told him that was ridiculously cliche... I mean really. Cracker wants a poly?"
"It's weird to sit and not eat, right?"
"When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train."
"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods."
"Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food.."
"When someone says something to me, not only am I able to respond to them, I feel like I have to. It is my response ability."
"when fruit talks Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"
"Give a man a fish and he'll feed himself for a day. Make the man a fish and you'll feed scientific curiosity for a lifetime."
"fyi, drug mule does not mean youll be getting stoned and riding around on a donkey... worst first day ever"