211912

Joke of the Day

"It's cute when they put expiration dates on snacks like I won't eat them as soon as I get to my car."

"What do you call 5 black people having sex? A threesome."

"What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection? He came and went at the same time."

"""Sure Chief, you can join us for dinner this year. But in the future, you're gonna need reservations."" -Pilgrims, at the first Thanksgiving"

"If I were a DJ, I think the best part of the job would be making people sorry that they hired me"

"How do you tell who the extroverted engineers are? They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you."

"Why don't men want to go down on a woman first thing in the morning? .....have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese?"

"What do you call the field of study for dad jokes? *Sigh*ence"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza can have pepperoni, Jews can't. Oh, and that other thing."

"If two vegetarians fight.... Do they have beef?"