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Joke of the Day

"I can just about tolerate pens... ...but I have to say I draw a line with pencils."

Next Joke
 
"You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they are around your throat, she is probably upset at you."
"Imagine if Hannibal was a university professor I'd love to go to a Hannibal Lecture!"
"I wonder how telemarketers react to other telemarketers when they are at home..."
"Chinese guy enters a grocery shop... A chinese guy enters a grocery shop and asks: -- ""Chunshun guashi Coca Cola"" The shopkeeper responded: -- ""A bottle of what?"""
"Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight... Hoping to get a PS3 in return."
"If you can't remember my name, just say 'donuts'. I'll turn around and look."
"Go green by saying no to diapers. Simply swap out your poop-covered baby for a clean one."
"Lucy plans elaborate jewel heist. Lucy dons cat burglar suit to conceal identity. Lucy pulls off heist. Lucy in disguise with diamonds."
"I know this is a long shot, but any super-attractive men and women out there also self-confessed ""nerds?"""