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Joke of the Day

"What's a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark? A period because it marks the end of his sentence."

"My Lecturer asked me why i was failing my class ""Is it ignorance or apathy?"", he said. Honestly, I don't know and I don't care."

"Of course my clothes are on the floor. I'm a guy, that's where I hang them."

"How do you cure depression? A gun."

"A man wakes up in a hospital, after a serious accident. He yells ""Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor responds ""I know. I amputated your arms."""

"What do you call a dark wizard that loves to give hickeys? a necromancer"

"Sadly, my day requires pants."

"Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies? I want that job. I could really screw with some people."

"Yo mama's so fat... That she was dropped on Hiroshima."

"After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying... ""As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."""