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Joke of the Day

"What's black, cheap, and not worth a damn? A cup of decaf"

"Parkinson's Disease was named after its discoverer, Dr. Timothy Disease."

"What did the knife say to the pretty lady? Nothing, she knew what was coming..."

"PERSON: I'm exhausted! ME: Me too! What'd you do? PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You? ME: I talked to like 4 people."

"*maintains eye contact while checking 'Dating Librarians For Dummies' out from the library."

"Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins? It was asbestos they could do at the time!"

"I went by the house I grew up in and went to the door and asked if I could take a look around. They said ""no"" and slammed the door in my face Parents can be real jerks"

"Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to."

"How do you get a Jewish girls number? Check her wrists."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vesti-gator!"