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Joke of the Day

"How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap."

"What do you call a stampede that runs in circles? NASCOW"

"All that voted for Brexit should be jailed for pedophilia... Because they want to fuck an entire generation of kids."

"I'm currently writing a musical about diggers trapped in a mine. I think it's gonna be in the key of A-flat minor."

"If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?"

"I would love to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle... But I can't afford all the shirts."

"Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep."

"A begger walks up to me... And asks, ""do you have a few extra dollars I can have?"" I said, ""I have a few dollars, but they aren't extra."""

"Did you hear about the 6 guys and the woman that went fishing? The guys didn't catch anything, but the woman came home with a red snapper."

"Mother: I told you not eat cake before supper. Daughter: But Mum it's part of my homework. 'If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake how much is left."