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Joke of the Day

"What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall? At the Schopenhauer."

"So I tried to get my pet kangaroo across the American border... But customs wouldn't let raw meat through."

"When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? When there's a sail on it."

"What did the Imam say after he was replaced by immigrants? They took my hijab!"

"Having sex is like multiplying numbers together If they're under 13, just do them in your head."

"A beer matt walks into a bar.. Drinks are on me!"

"I guess you can say Eagles of Death Metal's fanbase is really blowing up.."

"Why couldn't the blind man go skydiving? It would of scared the shit out of the dog."

"To all future Canadian inmigrants: Mexico welcomes you!"

"Ambien: Where is your unicorn? Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok."