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Joke of the Day
"To make a delicious omlette... you must be an eggspert."
Next Joke
"ladies, call me a badly designed excel spreadsheet because my D column is unnecessarily large"
"My credit card number is 4339-8245... Wait. Is this Amazon?"
"Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap He was high on my list of priorities"
"*watches man fall off of bridge on TV.. ""Bartender, can you get me that drunk?"""
"The great fire of London in 1666 started after dropping my mixtape too hard."
"Two guys walk into a bar The first guy asks for a glass of H2O. The second guy asks for a glass of H2O too. The second guy died."
"What do you call a Russian snake that's eating its own tail? An ouroboris"
"Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver"
"Damn boy, are you a wool sweater because you're irritating the shit out of me."