155916

Joke of the Day

"Weird scene in The Hobbit where Peter Jackson walks through the middle of the set and takes a 45-minute shit with the door open."

"The best times of my life were spent either blowing bubbles or playing with titties..."

"My girlfriend says I have a sharp tongue ... But I think she's just menstruating."

"Medical fact: If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well!"

"My friend once asked me if I would have sex with a christian girl without a condom. It's okay, God will protect us."

"A recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%. I've done the maths. I am immortal."

"Breaking news from My dog!! there ar Small animals outside sometimes, but especially Right Now."

"Bad: I saw my girlfriend's name and number on a couple of men's bathroom walls.. Worse: It was in her handwriting..."

"Ants Dancing ? Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, ""Twist to open."""

"Sex is like grammar. Not all guys do good at it."