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Joke of the Day

"A recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%. I've done the maths. I am immortal."

"How many women here think men are pigs? Let me see a show of tits."

"Nintendo Did you hear about the guy who married his Nintendo? Apparently he did it on Wed-Nes-day."

"The New York Knicks"

"Did you hear about the soldier who had the entire left side of his body blown off? He's all right!"

"I lost my job at the calendar factory. My boss said it was unacceptable that I'd taken a few days off."

"Lucky Friend My friend called my up the other day, happy that he finally got to cum on his wife's face. That's the benefit of an open-casket funeral."

"Life's most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water."

"What do you call an Jihadi Terrorist who just escaped prison? a free radical.."

"A guy walks into a bar... Ouch."