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Joke of the Day

"What happens when a linguist gets sick? Plosive diarrhea"

"I'm still angry about those Oreo Thins. I'm here waiting for TripleStuf and QuadrupleStuf and they're all ""we went the other way with it."""

"Me: *mouths I love you* Him: M: *blows kiss* H: M: *adjusts my pajama top* H: *empties the can & hops onto the side of the garbage truck*"

"Did you hear about the movie based on an Australian dystopian future society? Apparently it's a cross between Idiocracy and Mad Max....it's called Bogan's Run..."

"I would love to know what it's like to be handsome for one day... ... because everyday is just too much."

"We're hosting a charity event for the people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come, do let me know."

"Did you hear about the guy who wanted to put OJ Simpson's knife on display? He was caught trying to frame it"

"I stole a jar of jelly from a friend... While I was blasting some Daft Punk. He chases me down yelling ""That's my jam!"""

"What do all failing students in New Orleans have in common? They are all below ""C level""."

"How many qataris does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just make the nepalese do it."